Alabama According to Al

 

The road trip home from Florida taught me many things about Alabama.

1) There are random stoplights everywhere.

2) There are 50+ million Dairy Queens.

3) It’s cool to say “Roll Tide” after everything.

Elaboration time:

1) On this Holy Ground that I sit on, at the hour of 10:40 PM, I do declare that Alabama’s road system is bunk. Get me into the Civil Engineering office, residents of Alabama. There are stoplights every 500 feet for a good two-hour driving stretch. It is kind of ridiculous.

2) I was craving a Blizzard like nobody’s business the entire week we were in Florida. But for bathing suit and beaching purposes I denied myself. Finally, on the way home I said ENOUGH! Give me the DQ! But then it was really early when we left, we couldn’t find a DQ where we stopped for lunch, and I was resigned to DQ for dinner. Except by dinner time we had passed every Dairy Queen (and each time we passed one I yelled “Dairy Queen!”) in Alabama and were now in another state—Tennessee. Don’t worry, the story had a happy ending after all, but the moral of the story is: Alabama, share your Dairy Queens.

3) Roll-freakin-tide. By the end of the trip through the whole state of Bama (that’s what the locals say, I’m just being current) our sentences were something like: “Another red light. Roll Tide.” or “DAIRY QUEEN! ROLL TIDE!”

Or sometimes randomly I would say, “Decatur Alabama, Roll Tide” in my deepest southern accent like my friend Emily says.

All of this to say, I’m leaving for Alabama in the morning and won’t be in this blogging universe for a few days.

Instead, I’ll be sitting at stoplights, eating Blizzard’s and saying Rolllllllllllllllllllllll Tiiiiiiiiiide.

Or something like that.

 

 

 

I am and can you hold down the fort while I’m gone? I’d bring you a Blizzard but Alabama is holding them hostage.