Word Vomit

I'm incapable of forming rational thoughts (and sentences) when around attractive members of the opposite sex. My brain starts shooting out nonsense information which turns into word vomit. Word vomit and bad jokes. Really, really bad jokes that people only laugh at, not with.

I was sitting in the cafeteria with some friends when a really attractive guy (bacon for sure, but that's for another post) sat down beside me.

"My friends were sitting here but I guess they left me."

He said that sentence. All I heard was a choir of angels singing.

"Oh, it's ok, you can sit with us."

In my angel-induced fog, I managed that coherent sentence.

I munched on my salad and he joined in on our conversation about class and how ridiculously packed the caf has been lately because the freshmen haven't figured out that caf food sucks.

When the salad was gone and the rest of us were contemplating real food, I glanced over at his plate.

"Your chicken looks good," I stated, and he put a protective hand over it.

Surely he's joking, I thought, so I added a ridiculous joke:

"Give me your chicken!"

In a high-pitched robotic voice.

Yes, I said robotic. And yes, that was a joke. One of those jokes you laugh at, not with.

Except to him, it wasn't even funny enough to laugh at.

He excused himself and left.

Like I said, word vomit.