[Choose Joy] by Olivia Coy, ‘Communal’ Part One

 
Sometimes trials get hurled our way without a warning or explanation. We tell ourselves that God is in control of the circumstance and we cling to the promise that He has plans that are to prosper us, not to harm us. Yet, at the very same time, we don’t want to surrender control and choose to run after the scattered pieces so that we ourselves can fix what is broken. But because we are mere mortal beings, we can never patch our brokenness on our own. Only One can mend hearts and He will heal yours if you allow Him to.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. –Proverbs 34:18
September 22nd, 2012 was a fairly normal Saturday. My boyfriend lived almost 2 hours away and I was visiting him in his city for the weekend. What started as a normal Saturday ended in a way I wouldn't have guessed. After almost 8 months, he decided he wanted to end our relationship. We sat in his truck and talked. We cried and we prayed. To me it all came out of the blue, for him too. His feelings had changed and he didn't completely understand why. He felt at peace with God over his decision. I appreciated that he didn't string me along for weeks or months pretending everything was fine while he tried to determine what exactly caused him to change his mind. He told me as soon as he possibly could. I headed home as a fresh wave of tears hit before I could even go from reverse to drive. I started singing:

All to Jesus I surrenderall to him I freely give.


It became my prayer, along with:

You are my strength when I am weakYou are the treasure that I seekYou are my all in allI'm seeking You like a precious jewelLord, to give up I'd be a foolYou are my all in all

I had never experienced suffering of this magnitude before, which compared to trials others walk through, this is seemingly petty. I cried more in one week than I had in the past 6 years. I remember one night I listened to You Are My All In All as I broke down on the floor of the shower and wept so hard my chest ached. If there was ever a time that I knew that the Holy Spirit was interceding for me, it was then ["In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans." -Romans 8:26]. I couldn’t form a prayer from my lips or in my heart, but the Lord already knew my needs.
Our months of dating were amazing. We watched as God orchestrated our relationship from the beginning and continued to have His hand in it throughout. We were blessed with the support of our families and our friends. It wasn't perfect, but it was good. I am so thankful that I was able to be part of a relationship that I know brought glory to God. I grew spiritually. We were an example to those around us in how to date with Christ as the focus and it aided both of our testimonies as we grew, changed, and learned.

I am so very thankful for a break-up that has also added to my testimony. The Lord has used this to bring glory to His name as He has taught me many new things and further revealed Himself to me.
This is a time in which you get to practice what you preach. Choose an attitude that reflects Christ. Let your actions and words reveal the work that He is doing in your heart. Be wise about what you choose to post on facebook, twitter, blogs, etc. Evaluate your heart before you hit the publish button. You can share your heart but do it in such a way that is respectful and sensitive to the other person’s feelings, even if they initiated or it was mutual, they are going through many of the same emotions as you are. Don’t write to tear them down or paint them in a negative light.

Choose Joy no matter your circumstances. God doesn’t call us to just praise and thank Him when life is peachy; He wants us to do it when the road of life gets bumpy and fog rolls in so thick we can’t see more than 5 minutes in front of us.

I wouldn't have chosen to walk through a break up and I still don't fully understand why God has allowed it, but there are times when I get a glimpse of His plan as He has allowed me to share my heart with other girls. My brother-in-law told me that one awesome part of this is that, for the rest of my life, I will be able to relate with girls who have experienced heartbreak in relationships. And already I have seen that to be true. If someone had previously come to me with a broken heart, I would listen and maybe quoted a few verses about God having a plan for each of us, which is great. But when you have walked through something similar, there is a bond that grows, because you understand-- you've walked a relatable path. Just recently I had a friend that messaged me about some heart ache relating to a guy who led her on for a couple of months, as soon as I read what she was going through and the emotions she was experiencing I thought of this verse:

"For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?"-Esther 4:14

Who knows, maybe I have found myself in this position for a time like this? A time where the opportunity arises to be an encouragement to others and share my heart?

Dear Friend,
Hear me out- do not lose sight of our Father or give up your hope and faith in His great plan. It is in the midst of our greatest trials that we begin to see God in big, powerful ways. Don’t let others diminish the pain you are feeling, it’s real. There is a grieving process with break-ups, you mourn the death of a relationship. The hurt and pain will not go away overnight, it takes time, and each circumstance is different, so don't compare the length of your healing process to others. Don’t allow Satan to place doubts in your head about your self-worth, instead, remember that you are a beautiful daughter of the Most High King. Find your refuge in Him and He will not disappoint in healing your heart and giving you peace and comfort.

Be strong & courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. -Deuteronomy 31:6

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11

Look to the Lord & His strength; seek His face always. –Psalm105:4

My God will meet all of your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. –Philippians 4:19

The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. –Deuteronomy 31:8

Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge. –Psalm 62:8

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. -Lamentations 3:22-23

If you are experiencing heart ache, of any variety, would you allow me to pray for you? Shoot me a message.
xoxo
liv

livielulabelle92(at)aim(dot)com
 

You can find Liv at her blog Liv Life. I think she has great hair, would you agree? Thanks for sharing your story, Liv! It has spoken of a great truth.
 


Further Reading: a post I wrote about the Joy

Oh, and HAPPY NEW YEAR! (ok, I’m out)(Thanks again Liv!)