I ate a lot of food today.
Skinny iced mocha latte and a banana and chicken pot pie and corn bread and potatoes and fresh strawberry pie and a cheeseburger and a peanut butter milkshake.
It tasted like summer, like a carefree afternoon around a kitchen table set with American flag place-mats and of drives in the sunset for something icy and creamy, thick and delicious.
And it tasted like freedom, I left Weight Watchers in the dry dust for 24 hours.
After dinner, I curled up on the couch for a movie. I felt relaxed and at peace with myself.
But not long into the movie, I started thumbing through Google images of Weight Watchers “Before and After” pictures. Then, “Before and After” pictures of women who were doing the 30 Day Shred workout DVD.
I excused myself to the restroom where I stripped my clothes and stepped onto my scale—my scale, a horrible friend to me, one that never tells me what I want to hear, but who I have a hard time letting go of.
Sometime in the next few moments, as I pulled my shorts back up my legs and tugged my shirt over my head and down my shoulders, I had this feeling of, “Whatever, who the crap even cares.”
A few days later when I was cuddled on the couch checking Twitter, I found a reminder from Heavenly Father written by my favorite writer, C.Jane Kendrick:
“In the other definition, weight loss trumps health. Weight loss never promised peace; in fact, for a lot of people it introduces an added measure of pressure. Exercise becomes a goal-oriented conquest, diet becomes an art of denial, and weight management turns into a crippling addiction. But a healthy body acceptance promotes peace and an increase of joy — it may actually be the best defense we have against obesity.
The only thing I hope to lose in this life is my fear of being me, body and spirit.”
So I rolled my body off the couch and took it for a three mile walk around the neighborhood, sweat and discontent leaving my body with each exhale, peace and acceptance rushing in with every inhale of muggy Mississippi air.
And now I am calling this my Summer of Content.
-more on this?
-With my Summer of Content came a fresh blog look. Reminds me of watermelon—oh how I love thee watermelon!
So inspiring! I have struggled with body image & weight my entire life. {still do} but now I'm a mama and have something else to keep my mind occupied, but that lie still lingers...that I have to DO something to be beautiful. I know that Jesus calls me beautiful, because I am His. I just have to cling to that truth, even on the days I'm not feeling very pretty.
ReplyDeleteI JUST signed up for My Fitness Pal. It's a free alternative to Weight Watchers. I'm sure it will require a little more work than WW and less tools, but I needed help, and can't afford WW on a missionary salary! Gotta work with what you have! Learning that every day :)
Anyways, thank you for sharing this..and I followed the links and read about your story. Just beautiful.
thanks so much for your comment. no matter how many times I hear it, it's always encouraging for me to see that other women struggle too.
DeleteSo inspiring! It's always great to just be carefree some days, especially in the summer. xoxo
ReplyDeleteloveekierramakayla.blogspot.com
I love the carefree days of summer!
ReplyDeleteAs for my own weight loss experience, I decided I would just quit last weekend. I never want to step back on the scales again. Last weekend I was looking through my old stuff and I found so many weight loss diaries - from 2007, 2008, 2011, it was quite sad. I will try to live healthy, but I will never say or think anything bad about my body again (at least that's the plan.)
love this idea. I too am thinking of throwing the scale away. after beating on it with a hammer, ha. Love that you're loving you for you! Lets do it together?
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